every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
