So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
