sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
