Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
