He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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