these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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