Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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