I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
