i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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