Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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