What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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