i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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