You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
