I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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