i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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