do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
