i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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