I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
