i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
