You're completely useless in the revolution.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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