its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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