I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
