VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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