Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
