Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize