I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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