You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
