Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
