I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
