you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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