you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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