She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Randomize
