How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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