dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
