So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
