were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
