Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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