I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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