You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
