Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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