He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
