I used to practice getting hit by cars.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
