How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
