We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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