Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
