I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
