You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
