you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
