but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You took a bar mat shot.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
