I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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