Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
